Net.Humor Archive - Waiting For Kibo

Way back in the distant past, I actually read and posted on UseNet. I Stuck 'ObPlay: Waiting for Kibo' at the bottom of a posting, wondering if Leader Kibo would see it. It did. We exchanged a couple of postings, each time adding on to the play. I feel so privileged. I forget who wrote what portion of it. But does it matter?

ObPlay: "Waiting for Kibo.":
	Act I.
        Bob: "Where is Kibo?"
	Bob': "I don't know."
        Bob: "Let's wait then."
	Bob': "OK"

	Act II.
	Bob: "Where is Kibo?"
        Bob': "Over there."
	Bob: "OK.

(Kibo is just standing there reading Esquire.)

Act III.
Bob: "Well, do we have to wait for him all day?"
 Bob': "Maybe he'll come over here."
Bob: "Maybe he won't."
 Bob': "That was implied."
Bob: "Does he want us to walk over to him?"
 Bob': "Perhaps we could meet halfway."
Bob: "Don't trust him, it's a trap!"

(Kibo continues to read Esquire, without turning pages.)

Act IV.
Bob: "How can we stand this any longer?"
 Bob': "I cannot."
Bob: "We must do something."
 Bob': "Unless he does something."
Bob: "He won't."
 Bob': "Do we know that?"
Bob: "I would have an evil grin on my face if I did."

(Suddenly, a giant anvil falls and crushes Kibo.)

Act V.
 Bob: "My God.  A giant anvil fell and crushed Kibo.
Bob': "I see."
 Bob: "We should do something about it."
Bob': "I guess so."

(Bob walks over to Kibo's body and picks up the Esquire.)
(Bob continues to read Esquire, without turning pages.)

Act VI.
 Bob': "Bob?"
Bob: (continues to read Esquire, without turning pages.)
 Bob': "Hey Bob."
Bob: (continues, without turning pages, to read Esquire)
 Bob': "Yo Bob."
Bob`: "What?"
 Bob': "Not you Bob`.  That other Bob."
Bob: (reading Esquire, without turning pages, continues.)
 Bob': "Watcha reading Bob?"

(Suddenly, a giant anvil falls and crushes Bob.)

Act VII.
Bob: "Hey, a giant anvil just crushed me."
Bob' (to himself): "It could be a trick.  I must not investigate.
     I will be nonchalantly non-aware of the situation."
(He sits on the anvil which is on top of Bob.  Blood and Esquire ink
oozes out from under it.)
Kibo: "Hey, get this anvil off me."
Bob': "I am not listening to you, Crushed Kibo, as I am sitting on
      an anvil larger than the one which is sitting on you."
Kibo: "Okay.  I can wait."
Bob': "I am not waiting.  I am pretending to wait.  I do not see you."
Kibo: "But I will wait anyway even though there is nothing to wait for."
Bob:  (wails like a baby)

Bob': "It is not Act Eight."
Bob:  "Is too."
Bob': "Shut up and die already!"
Kibo: "What about me?"
Bob, Bob', and Bob` (together): "Bite me!"

Bob: "I guess (sob) we better leave."
 Bob': 'You may be right.
  Bob`: `OK. Let's Go`
(Bob, Bob', and Bob` prepare to leave.)
Kibo: "What about me?"
Bob, Bob', Bob` (in unison): "'` Wait here `'"

(they leave)

Kibo: "I wish someone would get this anvil off of me."
Anvil:  "I wish you would get out from under me.  You smell funny."
Kibo: "Lose some weight."
Anvil: "Get some backbone."
Kibo: "I think I'll wait until you go away."
Anvil: "Hand me that Esquire."

(the Anvil doesn't leave.)

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