Back to the Net.Humor ArchivesWARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind.These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them!
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
WARNING: Y2K BUG IS A CONSPIRACY TO MASK THE MORE DANGEROUS D10K BUG
The Y2K bug and all of its public attention is a sham. The problems that will occur when a few computers find themselves 100 years old are nothing compared to the problems that will occur when the Dow Jones Industrial average finally breaks through the 10000 barrier.Why is the 10000 value a significant problem? All of the media used to report the current DJIA are formatted to provide only 4 characters of data. The maximum value that can be reported is 9999. When the average breaks through the 10000 level, all the financial software will think that the average has plunged 10000 points. The computers will think there has been a catastrophic loss in equity values. Fail-safe mechanisms will be automatically implemented that will accelerate losses in other non-DJIA equities.
The devastation in the world equity markets will be unparalleled. The 1927 and 1987 market crashes will look like daily variations in comparison. The only way to avoid total financial ruin is to sell all of your assets immediately, buy gold, and hide it in your mattress (or other safe hiding place).
ACT NOW, BEFORE THE D10K BUG RUINS YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE!