Net.Humor Archive - Little Old Lady

A little old lady walked into the head office of Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag. She told the cashier she wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account. But first, because of the large amount of money involved, she wished to meet with the president of the bank.

After opening the bag and finding the bundles of $1,000 bills, the cashier called the secretary of the bank president asking if the little old lady could meet the president briefly. It was agreed to. The little old lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she always liked to get to know the people with whom she did business on more of a personal level. The president agreed and asked how she had come into such a large amount of money.

"I bet," she simply said.

"You bet?" the bank president asked.

"Yes, I bet," she responded.

"Like on horses?" the bank president asked.

"No," she replied, "I bet on people."

Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet different things with people, adding as an example, "I'll bet you $25,000 that by tomorrow morning your testicles will be square!"

The bank president figured that she must be off her rocker, but decided to take her up on a sure thing. After all, he didn't see how he could lose! But, for the rest of the day, he was very careful about what he did. He decided to miss a poker party that night just to play it safe.

The next morning while showering, he checked to make sure everything was as it was supposed to be. It was. He went to work humming, and waited for the little old lady who was to come in at her appointed time of 10:00 a.m. He just knew it was going to be a good day, for he was going to win $25,000 for doing nothing.

At 10:00 sharp, the little old lady was shown into his office. With her was a young man. When the president inquired as to his identification, he was told the gentleman was the little old lady's attorney. She always took him along on deals when there was so much money involved, adding, "Now, what about our bet?"

"I don't know how to tell you this," replied the bank president, "but I am the same as I've always been, only $25,000 richer!"

The little old lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought that was a reasonable request and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over so she could grab onto them and check for sure.

Sure enough, everything was fine! The bank president looked up and saw her lawyer standing across the room banging his head against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" asked the bank president.

The little old lady responded, "Oh, him? Yesterday I bet him $100,000 that by a few minutes after 10:00 this morning, I'd have the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls!"

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