Net.Humor Archive - Degrees of Cold

Degrees (Fahrenheit)

• 65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
• 60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
• 50 Miami residents turn on the heat
• 45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
• 40 You can see your breath
  Californians shiver uncontrollably
  Minnesotans go swimming
• 35 Italian cars don't start
• 32 Water freezes
• 30 You plan your vacation to Australia
• 25 Ohio water freezes
  Californians weep pitiably
  Minnesotans eat ice cream
  Canadians go swimming
• 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
  New York City water freezes
  Miami residents plan vacation further South
• 15 French cars don't start
  Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
• 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
• 5 American cars don't start
• 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
• -10 German cars don't start
  Eyes freeze shut when you blink
• -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
  Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
  Miami residents cease to exist
• -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
  Politicians actually do something about the homeless
  Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
  Japanese cars don't start
• -25 Too cold to think
  You need jumper cables to get the driver going
• -30 You plan a two week hot bath
  Swedish cars don't start
• -40 Californians disappear
  Minnesotans button top button
  Canadians put on sweaters
  Your car helps you plan your trip South
• -50 Congressional hot air freezes
  Alaskans close the bathroom window
• -80 Hell freezes over
  Polar bears move South
  Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game
• -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets