Net.Humor Archive - Classified Ads

• 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
  
  
• AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
  
  
• SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
  
  
• FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
  
  
• 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
  
  
• TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L,
  
  
• AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
  
  
• 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
  
  
• STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
  
  
• FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
  
  
• FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
  
  
• SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE - 89 cents
  
  
• GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
  
  
• FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
  
  
• FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
  
  
• FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
  
  
• NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE
  
  
• BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
  
  
• SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
  
  
• FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE...BETTER BE
  
  
• REWARD.
  
  
• HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
  
  
• GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL - HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
  
  
• HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
  
  
• GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
  
  
• NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE - SLIGHTLY STAINED
  
  
• FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
  
  
• AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100
  
  
• TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
  
  
• FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
  
  
• NOTICE: TO PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR
  
  
• SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE. PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE
  
  
• RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VINCINITY ARE DEAD.
  
  
• EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRING -$175.
  
  
• OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
  
  
• JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER - $300.
  
  
• LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
  
  
• ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER