Evangelists say Halloween is the devil's holiday. What a lame-ass devil! Sitting down in the depths of hell, going, "I've got control of the major corporations, churning out weapons and toxic waste...but how can I get candy? Let me think...I'll get the children of the world to dress up as hobos and Power Rangers -- and then I'll have all the bite-size Three Musketeers I need! I am Satan!